New Season! New Design!

Good evening everyone!


Thanks to my wonderful mom, Wendy, I have a newly designed blog.  I am loving it, what about you?


My blog entry tonight is dedicated to all of those who lost their lives in 9/11. It is a day that none of us will ever forget and one that we wish never happened. My heart goes out to all of those families that lost loved ones in this tragedy and hope that we never have to experience something like that ever again.  From your neighbours to the north, we love you and continue to pray for you!

School's Back.... And so am I!!

Hey Peeps!

I am back!  I always feel like September is the start of a new beginning.  The summer is over, kids are back to school, the leaves are changing colour, everything is pumpkin... So I thought, why not revisit my blog?  

I love blogging and having people read it but sometimes I wonder if anything that I say is valuable to anyone? I have decided that regardless of who finds value in it, I do! It helps me write down (or type down, I suppose) what maybe I can't say out loud in real life.

So how was your summer?  Mine was pretty good.  Vacations, relaxation, anniversaries... So much to do in such a little time!

Let's talk about my health and my weight loss journey, because let's face it, that's why I started this blog. And I all I can really say is that over the summer, I fell off the wagon, it ran over me and then backed over me again. It has been bad.  Bad for food, bad for exercise, bad for emotional eating, JUST BAD.

What I did realize was that I needed to change it and what better timing then to start in September.  Everything is fresh and I can have a better perspective on my life and my health.

I have been trying to get back on track and I am succeeding. Gym mostly everyday and tracking all of my food. I am feeling good and hope to continue on.

So.... How was your summer?

Here's a little snapshot of mine:

10th Anniversary Trip to Jamaica

Summer Boat Cruise

Caribana 2014

Feeling HOT hot HOT!

So folks, it has been a while.  Almost a month actually.  What is new in my life? Not a hell of a lot.  Still exercising, counting points and trying my damnedest to get this weight back off.  

My vacation to Jamaica is in 72 days (yes, I am counting, I love to countdown for fun things) and I am so excited, can you tell?

My friend and I tried Hot Yoga for the first time on Monday.  And it was.... well, hot for sure.  I really actually enjoyed it and am going back tonight by myself. We were able to do 35 minutes of a 60 minute class on Monday and I am trying for 45 minutes tonight.  It is amazing that you actually sweat from places you didn't think could create sweat, like my eyes for example and my fingernails. I swear they were all sweating, but I will tell you, I slept like a baby that night.  So we will see how it goes tonight.

For those who think that they won't be able to do it because of the heat, because of their weight, or just because they don't want to, think again!  You could also do it. Yes, the heat seems brutal at first but you do actually adjust to it a bit.  Now the yoga poses, that is a different story. They are pretty difficult but I wouldn't say due to my weight more because of my flexibility but I am assuming that over time I will get better and more flexible.  The best part about it is that I truly feel like it rids my body of toxins and relieves stress.

I read something online today by a girl who says she weighs 210 lbs.  She said that she cannot exercise because of her weight and I thought, what the hell?  Why on earth couldn't she exercise because of her weight?  I mean, I understand we are all different and our tolerances are different but to me that was a little bit crazy. I informed her that I was exercising at 300 lbs and she was shocked that I was able to.  Now, I admit that my exercise wasn't very strenuous when I weighed 300 lbs, but I tried and it helped me immensely. Even though I haven't lost any weight (gained in fact) I am so much stronger than I used to be!

~TGIF~

Dear Diary,

I apologize for my lack of posting these days. Things have been hectic in my life with work, the kids, being sick, etc.  Most of the time when I get home from work I just want to sleep especially with this cold that doesn't seem to want to go away.  The good thing? I have gotten lots of rest. The bad? I haven't gone to the gym at all this week, which sucks but I think my body needs the rest more.

So onto my journey.  This time last week I had a major meltdown. Like full on crying meltdown.  As I have mentioned before, my leader Koren is an amazing human being who even lets us have her phone number. It was 10:30 p.m. at night and I had just finished off what I think was 1 cup of salted cashews and it hit me that my eating had completely gone off the rails and it was a bad situation.  Back to the story. I text Koren telling her that I was in meltdown mode, I felt like I was floundering and that I didn't even want to go to the meeting that week let alone weigh in.  I asked her if I could go to the meeting but not weigh in which I KNOW makes no sense whatsoever.  It is like the many members that go to Weight Watchers but hold off because they want to lose weight before they go.... Makes no sense, right?  

But I digress, within 5 minutes my phone rings and it is Koren.  I was shocked that she was even up at that time let along calling me back? I have never had such a caring leader before.  We talked for a good 30 minutes about my situation and she said it was so coincidental that I text her that night because she was talking to another struggling member that same night at a meeting and showed her my "Success Story" on the wall.  The member told her that she would love to meet me.  Meet me?  Really? What is so special about me? I am struggling just like the rest of them and feeling no so proud of myself these days.  But, deep down it made me have a "Ding ding ding" moment when I realized that losing the weight that I have is something to be proud of and even though I haven't had the greatest success in the past year, I have not given up on myself and I recognize now that I am afraid it has become a problem.  So with that, I have decided that it is time to get serious again and it is time for me to be the old me when I first started the journey, "Back to basics" as some refer to it and if I am honest, this week is going amazing.  I feel great (other than being sick), I am staying within my points and I am not having horrible cravings....

Which leads me onto my next point!

I HAVE BEEN PEANUT BUTTER FREE FOR ONE (1) WEEK!!!

I have blogged before about my problems with Peanut Butter and I also realized a few weeks ago that it is starting to really upset my stomach when I eat it at night and it actually makes me have a horrible sleep where I am tossing and turning all night long.  I haven't had it since last Friday and I am sleeping better and feeling better.  Let's see if this makes any difference on the scale?  Even if it doesn't, I think anything in excess isn't good for you, right?

In terms of food, I have made a few recipes over the past couple of weeks, but the two that stood out to me the most and probably will for most normal human beings who struggle but love fast food, is my BIG MAC SALAD and the lighter version BLT!

BIG MAC SALAD
Serves: 1 (can easily double)
Points Plus: 6

Ingredients:

PC Blue Menu Sirloin Burger

1 tbsp of Thousand Islands Dressing (can use fat free, I only had full fat)

Sliced Pickles

Diced Tomatoes (I know these aren't on a Big Mac, but it adds more to the salad)

Diced Red Onion

1/4 cup of light cheese

1-tbsp of sesame seeds

Directions:

Layer everything in the bowl, top with the chopped burger, drizzle with salad dressing and thank me!!

Lightened Up BLT

(recipe courtesty of Weight Watcher Girl Blog)

Serves: 1

Points Plus: 5

Ingredients:

2 slices- Weight Watchers Multigrain Bread

1-tbsp of Light Mayonnaise (Hellman's)

2-tbsp of bacon bits

Lettuce

Tomato

Directions:

Put the bacon bites in the microwave for 20 seconds, layer sandwich the same way you normally would.  I tend to put the bacon bites on top of the mayonnaise so it sticks!  Enjoy!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Love Mel xo

~Something Important to Think About~

My blog post today isn't about me, it is about other people who struggle and who deserve more than what they are getting.

An online friend of mine, posted a video yesterday on her Facebook.  It is about her friend Heather, who is fighting her battle with cancer and currently in palliative care at Victoria General Hospital in Halifax.  

This situation is wrong on so many levels and it doesn't seem that anything is being done to stop the mice from being in the hospital. Many of the people who are in palliative care are living their last days, hours and minutes and deserve to have a safe place to be with their loved ones.  

I am not sure what can be done, but I know that something has to be done to stop this issue.  

Maybe if the story gets shared around enough, someone will take it seriously and do something.

My prayers go out to Heather and her family and I hope that the environment she spends her time in will improve for her and the other patients at the hospital.

To see more on this matter, please click the link below:

Mice spotted in Victoria General Hospital

~3 more sleeps~

So the past week or so has been hard, as I have mentioned. One of the reasons is because my hubby is currently in Jamaica visiting family while I am.... well at home in Mississauga.  How sucky is that?  He goes every year at the same time for Easter as it is a big holiday and celebration there (I actually think that anything can be made into a celebration in Jamaica, but I digress).  I have the option to go but I chose to hold out for the summer vacation where we stay at a resort and do touristy things.  Anyone else agree that generally staying with family on vacations is anything BUT relaxing? He will come back on Friday and I really think it is true that distance makes the heart grow fonder. And guess what? Only 108 days until my trip to Jamaica!!!

I have to give kudos to those who's spouses travel regularly for work. I just don't think I could ever be in that situation. I have a hard time sleeping, concentrating and I generally just feel a little bit sad.  

The countdown is on... 3 more sleeps!!

I blogged yesterday about my struggles and even though it has only been a few days, I feel more in control than I have for a long time.  I think I just have to find ways to satisfy myself without going completely overboard with anything. 

Last night I did end up going to the gym, I did the Body Step new release and lets just say that it was BRUTAL!  I loved it but it was really challenging and I was beet red and sweating buckets by the end of it. Tonight I will do the Body Pump new release which I am so excited for!  

Anyway, I hope you have a great day and I will see y'all tomorrow!

Love Mel xo

I am BACK!!

Happy Easter to all of my followers!  I hope yours was as good as mine!

Where have I been?

The past few weeks I have been pretty quiet on my blog. It is not that I have nothing to say because God knows, I always have something to say, but it is more about not wanting to say what is actually going on with me.

I am afraid that I have fallen off of the wagon. And HARD!  Sometimes, I just don't want to think about what I am eating, how many points it is, how many calories it has. I just want to be a normal person who can eat what they want and never gain a pound. But I know I am not that person and I have to adjust to living as someone who has to worry about what they are eating.

My body LOVES weight apparently. Although, I know in a weeks time I didn't not eat in excess of 14,000 extra calories, I gained 4.8 lbs this week.  I did track everything I ate, I did exercise all week but I also ate 4 Cadbury Cream Eggs, 2 days in a row.  WHO does that?  Me, I guess.

Anyway, that 4.8 lbs gain has really hit home. I almost cried at my Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday when my leader (Koren) asked me what "they" could do to help me.  Why? Because as nice as it is for her to offer support, there is nothing that "Anyone" can do to help me except for myself.  

I feel like a broken record these days to friends and family by saying I am going to change, I am going to go back to being really strict, I am going to just do it.  Because inevitably, something comes up that week that throws me off the wagon and feeling full of remorse and regret.  But, I am saying that because of how I am feeling, clothes not fitting and I am generally just not feeling good in my own skin anymore, that I am going to do it.  I DO NOT want to go back to where I was and I think that this was just the scare I needed to get myself back on track.

As mentioned before, I am going to Jamaica in August 2014 and I would like to have a goal to lose at least 25 lbs by the time I step on the plane.  It is a lot but it is totally achievable for me, I think.

My Gym Life!

This week I am looking forward to new release week at my gym (Goodlife Fitness).  Every quarter they change around the routines for the exercise classes and it is always exciting to see what they have in store for the classes. Tonight I will do Body Pump and hopefully Body Step if I can make it back to the gym.  I don't want to be fanatical about it, but I do want to try the classes.

Several people ask me what exactly we do in the classes and why I love them so much.  There are a couple of reasons, first off, I LOVE the instructors.  I have never really come across a bad one, they are all friendly and want you to succeed and do their best to help you.  The second reason is because I feel that the classes are something that I am actually fairly good at.  I can keep up with them and they are loads of fun.

In case you are ever interested in joining a gym, I absolutely recommend Goodlife Fitness.

Here are some videos to show exactly what we do in some of the classes. My favourites are Body Pump, Body Combat, Body Step and RPM:

Body Step:

http://w3.lesmills.com/global/en/classes/bodystep/learn-the-moves/

Body Pump:

http://w3.lesmills.com/global/en/classes/bodypump/learn-the-moves/

Body Combat:

http://w3.lesmills.com/global/en/classes/bodycombat/learn-the-moves/

RPM:

http://w3.lesmills.com/global/en/classes/rpm/learn-the-moves/

Anyway, that is it for today! I hope everyone has a great day and enjoys this warm weather we are having!  I'll hopefully be back to blog again tomorrow!

Mel xo

I'll be back!!!

Sorry that I haven't updated in a while! I promise tonight or tomorrow to put up a new post!

Recipe Makeover!!

This week, I found an awesome recipe. I used to LOVE Hamburger Helper but of course, it is far from healthy and contains so many additives and preservatives that I just haven't been able to even have it as a treat.  But I was searching Pinterest and found a homemade and somewhat healthy alternative to it. 

Here is the recipe, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!!!

Homemade Cheeseburger Helper
Serves: 4
Weight Watchers Points: 7
**Simple Filling/Simple Start Friendly**

Ingredients:

1 package of ground chicken

1-1/2 cups of uncooked whole wheat pasta

1 cup of skimmed milk

2 cups of hot water

1 tsp of garlic powder

1 tsp of paprika

1 tsp of parsley flakes

1 tbsp of cornstarch

1 tsp of salt (I used seasoning salt instead)

1 cup of fat free (or light) cheddar cheese

Directions:

1. Brown Ground Chicken in a dutch oven or any deep pot.

2. Drain any grease from the chicken.

3. Mix seasonings with the ground chicken.

4. Add in skim milk, water and the pasta.

5. Increase heat and bring to a boil. 

6. Once boiled, reduce heat, cover and simmer until the pasta is to your desired consistency.

7. Remove from heat and stir in the cheese.

Serve & Enjoy!!!

#TBT - Throwback Thursday

Dear Diary,

Things have been going okay for me. I have seemed to have caught some sort of stomach bug but am finally feeling a bit better.  

Have you ever heard of #TBT? Throwback Thursday?  Throwback Thursday is when you post an old picture on your social media.  I actually love it because it gives me a chance to look back at different times in my life, my family, my friends, and all that good stuff.

So today, I decided I will share a collage of pictures from the beginning of my journey. It is a major throwback and one that opens my eyes to how far I have actually come.  Things may not be going as I planned they would but I have still accomplished a lot.

Here is my #TBT:

April 2011

April 2014

Although I am still not where I want to be, I am definitely in a better place and hope to improve myself even more!

Now, onto other things!!!

I am so happy that I am on vacation next week! I love my job but desperately need some rest and relaxation.  Mom and I will be hitting the states overnight on Tuesday.  She has booked us at the Seneca Casino Hotel.  We are going to shop, eat and enjoy ourselves!!!

Oh and BIG announcement!!!  I am going to Jamaica in August!  It is my 10 year wedding anniversary and we have decided to do a nice trip to Gran Bahia Principe in Runaway Bay! I am super excited for this trip!!!

Have a great day!! And remember, for those who are struggling, you can do anything if you put your mind to it!

Love Mel xo

~Weekly Recipes~

As promised, every Sunday I will be trying out new recipes and posting them, if they are successful.  

Today, I have two new recipes to post for everyone!!!

Recipe #1
Oatmeal Blueberry Muffins
Servings: 18
Weight Watchers Points: 2 per muffin

Ingredients:

1-1/4 cup of whole wheat flour

1-1/4 cup of old fashioned oats (I used the large flake oats)

1/2 cup of brown sugar (I used Splenda Brown Sugar)

1/2 tsp of cinnamon

1 tsp of baking powder

1/2 tsp of baking soda

1/8 tsp of salt (I omitted)

1/2 cup of 1% Buttermilk

1 cup of unsweetened applesauce

2 tbsp of canola oil (or any other oil)

1 egg

3/4 cup of blueberries, frozen or fresh

Directions:

1. In a bowl, combine the dry ingredients.

2. In a separate bowl, combine the wet ingredients.

3. Make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients.

4. Mix until combined, but do not overmix.

Bake at 375 degrees for 15 minutes.

ENJOY!!

Recipe #2

Weight Watchers Fried Rice with Shrimp

(courtesy of weekly handout)

Serves: 4

Weight Watchers Points: 4 per serving

**Simple Start/Simply Filling Recipe**

Ingredients:

1-1/2 cups of cooked brown rice

1 egg (I omitted egg accidentally)

1 cup of carrot/peas frozen mixture

1 diced sweet bell pepper

1 tsp of ginger root

4 cloves of fresh garlic (minced)

1/2 cup of chopped green onion

4 tbsp of low sodium soy sauce

1 tsp of rice wine vinegar

1 cup of cooked shrimp

Directions:

1. In a deep frying pan, add cooking spray to coat.

2. Scramble egg in pan, remove once cooked.

3. Add peppers, green onion, garlic, ginger root, pea/carrot mixture and sautee until they are tender.

4. Add shrimp and cook until they are pink in colour.

5. Add the rice, soy sauce and rice wine vinegar.

6. Add the egg back into the pan.

7. Stir to combine all ingredients and cook for a few more minutes.

ENJOY!

~Midnight Motivation~

~Skinny Saturday~

Okay, well maybe not Skinny Saturday, but I have a little bit of good news today!

That's right!  I finally lost some weight. It may be a little, but a loss is a loss and I am excited about it.

What did I do differently this week, you ask?

I decided that I needed to get honest with myself. Lying won't help me lose weight and clearly eating whatever I want won't either.  I followed Simply Filling (loosely because the beginning of the week messed me up) and I tracked via pen and paper, the old fashioned way.

I am sorry I haven't blogged in a few days, I was trying to figure out if people actually enjoy reading what I am writing, but what I have realized is that I blog for myself primarily, but also because I need to be accountable and it helps me be accountable and if I can help someone else along the way, that is a bonus!

I hope my blogging helps someone at least a little bit!

How is your weekend going?  Mine is going great.  

Today hubby and I went out to the flea market and then had some yummy Jamaican lunch (chicken breast for me as usual) and I relaxed in bed most of the afternoon watching "Keeping Up with the Kardashians".  Oops? Did I just admit that.  

Yes, my name is Melanie and I am addicted to the Kardashians.  I spend most of my Saturdays watching their marathons when I am home and I never get bored of it.  

In fact, my bestfriend Farah and I have a running Saturday joke about it.  Texts go something like this:

Mel: Guess what?

Farah: What?

Mel: It is Kardashian day!

Farah: I know, I am watching!

Haha, we are nerds but we enjoy it.  Life is too serious to not have some cheesy Kardashian in it, right?  Please do not hold this against!  I do not let the love of Kardashians define me as a person!

Tonight we are off to celebrate my sisters birthday (it was on March 30) with dinner downtown at a Greek restaurant called Messini.  Can't wait, love Greek food.  The feta, the tzatziki, the creaminess.... Oh yum!!!

Tomorrow I will be off to the gym, and then hopefully posting a few recipes I have come up with!

Until then, have a great Saturday and see you tomorrow.

Love Mel

~I am SO not worthy~

Dear Diary,

This week I wanted to try something different with my Weight Watchers journey. Instead of utilizing the mobile app, I thought I would put pen to paper and actually write everything down in the Plan & Track Journal. I had one already but it had been written in already and I wanted a fresh one, so off to the Weight Watchers store I go.  

I get there and I see my two favourite people, Anne and Danielle.  The two of them weighed me in every Tuesday for two years and were so supportive to me. I love them to death but sadly don't get to see them often because I don't go on Tuesdays anymore.

We had a quick chit chat and Anne says to me:

Anne: "Melanie, look over at the Board, you are back up on the Board"

True enough, my success story and picture were back up on the bulletin board for everyone to see.  

It felt good but at the same time, I felt like a fraud and the guilt took over. 

I don't think that my picture should be up on that bulletin board right now. I am not a success story right now.  And I am certainly not where I should be right now.

I told Anne that while it was nice, I shouldn't be up there.  Her response was:

Anne: "Melanie, you are still here.  You are still trying. And it will happen".

True enough but why can't I make it happen?

Something I will admit here that those who know me personally are well aware of is that I have a serious addiction to Peanut Butter.  I could eat it everyday, on a spoon, on a cracker, with a banana. I do not discriminate when it comes to Peanut Butter. 

Anyways, my point of this story is that lastnight before bed and after having a pretty good eating day and staying on track, my head is telling me to go get some Peanut Butter.  On one shoulder, the angel is telling me "No Melanie, you do not need or want that Peanut Butter" and the Devil on the other is saying "Yes Melanie, go get it, go eat the whole jar and all of the yummy creaminess of the Peanut Butter".  

So what does Melanie do?

Yup, I had the Peanut Butter.  Now, I didn't eat the whole damn jar, but I had two teaspoons and ate it on 2 rice cakes, so it wasn't overly unhealthy but I HATE that I have that temptation and that I have NO control over it.

It sucks, it just really sucks.

My mother, my sister and my bestfriend all said the exact same thing about the picture being on the bulletin board:

"Maybe it being on the board will give you more motivation."

I truly hope they are right.

For those who struggle with me, it is so hard but we can all make it to where we want to be, we just need to work at it and realize it takes time.  It took me 20 years to put on all of my extra weight and it is going to take time to get it off.

See ya tomorrow!

Love Mel

Holy Sleep, Batman!

Dear Diary,

I had totally intended on blogging last night.  I had the topic picked out and ready to go.  So what happened?

Around 3:00 p.m. yesterday, this major tiredness swept over me and I felt like I just couldn't keep my eyes open.  Got home around 5:30, ate dinner, fed the kids and was in bed and out like a light by 6:45 p.m.  I did wake up around 12:30 a.m., went to the washroom, had an apple and back to bed I went.  Weird?  I can't say I am feeling overly refreshed today but that is probably because 15 hours of sleep is way too much, right?

Simple Start.... Is it that Simple?

Anyway, what I was going to talk about last night was my new journey with Simple Start/Simply Filling.  I use the two plans and combine them to one. For those who are not on Weight Watchers, Simple Start/Simply Filling are two of the three plans that Weight Watchers has to offer.  Simple Start is more geared towards newbies who want to be told "Eat this and you will lose weight" whereas Simply Filling has a little more leeway for what you are eating and when.  Both work on the same principles that you eat mostly Power Foods (ya know, green triangle foods) with some indulgences.  Both are good programs in my opinion but you need to have a little more discipline because you really can't eat all of the yummy, tasty treats that you can when you are tracking which actually seems to be my problem is that when I am tracking, there is too much leeway and I use my points to eat foods that don't satisfy my body for extended periods of time. I am living to eat, not eating to live.

So I started Simple Start/Simply Filling again.  Welcome to the world of lots of chicken breasts, lots of lettuce, lots of fruit and lots of veggies.  Great, right?  UGH!  

I need to have the discipline back that I used to have in the beginning where my total weight loss was almost 95 lbs, not the discipline I have right now where I am sitting at 75 lbs lost and so depressed over my gain.  

Sometimes I feel like I am sabotaging myself or something. Who knows? I hear all the time that I am an inspiration and while I thank each and every person who tells me that, I definitely don't feel like I should be an inspiration to anyone because I have so many demons when it comes to eating and it would be embarrassing to actually type about them.  But, the reality is that we are all in this together and we can all make positive changes to better ourselves both physically and mentally.

Unfortunately, because I have quite a busy life, I cannot cook up amazing meals every day, but sometimes even seeing what others are eating from day to day, could encourage others to make similar meals because they are healthy.  

This morning, it is my late day to work, so I can actually cook and eat my meal before getting to work.  I decided on Scrambled Eggs with Fat Free Cheese and Roasted Sweet Potatoes.  It was really good and very filling!

Scrambled Eggs with Roasted Sweet Potatoes

Serves: 1
Weight Watchers Points: 5
*Simple Start & Simply Filling Meal*

Ingredients:

2 large eggs, beaten

1/4 cup of fat free Allegro Cheese

1/2 cup of Sweet Potatoes

Cooking Spray

Directions:

Cut Sweet Potatoes into small cubes. Season with whichever seasonings you love. I used Cajun and Garlic Powder.  Roast at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes until fork tender.

Beat eggs with some pepper (or not if you don't like it).

Add cheese.

Scramble until fully cooked.

YUMMY!